performer

Psalm 51:16-17 

Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

The stage is set,

And the audience murmur.

Rumbles and whispers,

For the famous performer.

 

Stage set,

Music queued.

Shoulders back,

Chin skewed.

 

Smile.

 

Lights up.

 

Ballerina,

Swirling and twirling,

Pretty in pink,

Her confidence whirling.

 

Hair so tight,

holding her smile in place.

Poised and proper,

A sight of beauty and grace.

 

Dance, beauty, dance,

Feel the flow.

Keep stepping in time,

And put on a show.

 

Corset suffocating.

Breathe in,

Push through,

Hold and hold,

Don’t allow yourself,

to screw it up.

 

Don’t misstep.

Don’t mess up.

 

Stay in the spotlight,

drown in its flood.

Get all the steps right,

Or fail tonight.

 

They clap,

They cheer.

Don’t give up,

Ignore the fear.

 

Ballerina,

Swirling and twirling,

Pretty in pink,

Her mind whirling.

 

Feet swelling,

Bloodied and blistered.

Pink turned to red,

Joy turned to dread.

 

Keep going,

Keep moving.

Dance, beauty, dance,

Keep proving yourself,

This is your only chance.

 

Body aching,

Strength waning,

Smile, beauty,

Hold your head high.

 

Shoulders back.

Head black.

 

Smile.

 

Don’t misstep.

Don’t mess up.

Don’t let them see,

You’re not good enough.

 

Soft arms,

Pulled knees,

Tummy tight.

But no sight.

 

Keep going!

But I can’t.

 

Keep pushing!

But I can’t.

 

Keep breathing,

Keep performing,

Keep turning,

And swirling,

And proving!

 

But I can’t!

 

Don’t misstep.

Don’t mess up.

 

Hide your faults,

Hide your flaws,

From the flood

Of the applause.

 

Don’t misstep.

Don’t mess up.

Watch each footstep,

Start to speed up.

 

Ballerina,

Swirling and twirling,

Pretty in pink,

Her faith whirling.

 

Blood, sweat and tears,

Music to their ears,

Seeping through slippers,

Seeping from eyes.

 

Cut the melody,

Turn out the lights.

Someone get her some ice,

And turn on the houselights!

 

This ballerina has no dance left -

No soul, no groove,

Nothing left to prove.

 

Stop!

Freeze!

Lights out.

Lights up.

 

Why does the light feel dark,

And the dark feel light?

 

Breathe,

Collapse,

Rest.

 

And let your soul

dance.